Peace peace peace! It’s one of those things that you really don’t value or appreciate until you live without it then gain it in abundance. Mr. Chiwoko and I really didn’t appreciate the invaluable benefits of living in with peaceful marriage. After years of fighting to win, we have come to realise that being able to walk away from a lengthy back and forth argument just doesn’t compare to seeking for peace wherever possible.
The benefits of peace are numerous, including good health and a fortified marital relationship. More benefits of peace.
Now as I look back, I realise that we were actually exchanging our peace for pride! It was our pride that we’d be so ready to allow conflict into our marriage for. It was pride that we so easily exchanged the peace in our home for. We risked our ability to unite, to come together, to discuss whilst maintaining a peaceful atmosphere in the home.
The crazy part is, even when either one of us ‘won’ the fight, we had actually both lost. And the ramifications of the win just made it all pointless. There was no joy, no sense of achievement, no positive reward. In fact, the ‘win’ or fight to protect our pride cost us dearly every time!
We have now decided that a peaceful marriage is just not something we’re prepared to bargain with anymore…especially not just to win an argument! We always consider whether the point we are trying to make, the decision we are pushing for, or the stance we are stubbornly taking is worth risking the peace. And guess what? When we take the time to ask ourselves that question, we often find that it’s not! If we find that a discussion is getting heated and not heading in a positive direction, one of us will suggest that we drop it and pick the discussion up again (if truly necessary) when we’re able to have a less pride-filled, emotional approach to it.
This approach has really worked!
Listen to me discuss this further in this podcast: Are you exchanging PEACE for PRIDE?