Not in the mood for sex
Marriage,  Uncategorized

Not in the mood for sex? 

After several years of marriage, becoming a little complacent, the busyness of life, and many other factors – it’s a fact that a lot of couples can lose the passion they once had for their sexual encounters and find themselves regular feeling like they are not in the mood for sex. Like with other things in life, the less you do it – the less you think you need it – even if that thing is an absolute necessity! 

Just like any other habit that you have inadvertently distanced yourself from, getting motivated to partake in sex when you’re ‘not in the mood’ can feel very much like a chore. Suddenly your creative ability skyrockets as you come up with excuses as to why you can’t engage in the sexual activity. I understand it! That feeling of: 

“I can’t be bothered.” 

“I just want to sleep.” 

“Do we HAVE to?” 

“What’s wrong with him/her? We did it the other day!”

“Does he/she think about anything else?” 

“I have an early start!” 

“I feel frumpy.”

“I don’t feel sexy.”

Sexual Triggers

It’s absolutely critical for the success of our marriages that we do the necessary to revive our sex lives if we recognise our physical intimacy has taken a nose-dive. I was reading a post on Facebook today that talked about Sexual Triggers. And it got me asking myself whether I know what my sexual triggers are. After pondering on this for a few minutes I came up with a few such as: 

 – A hot bath 

 – Music 

 – Candles 

 – Aphrodisiacs such as chocolate…mmmm chocolate😅

 – Watching my husband work (he’s like the man in the diet coke advert)

 – And others which I should probably keep private!

I then started to wonder how I can intentionally use these triggers in my marriage to help get me and keep me ‘in the mood’ more often! Like my arsenal of sexual motivators. And so, if you know that your marriage could do with a lot more sex and expressions of sex, then you have to break yourself out of your ‘I’m not in the mood’ habit. 

How can you do this? By being intentional about your desires. Identify your sexual triggers or motivators and use them! Put yourself in the mood with intention by motivating yourself for sex. 

It takes a little planning and is likely to knock out the ‘spontaneity’ of your sexual encounters. However,  it will get you to be more in the mood for sex more often and therefore having more sex. The hope is that this intentional and motivated increase in sexual activity between you and your spouse will begin to break the ‘not in the mood’ habit and have you ever ready to get it on! 

Does Your Marriage Have Low Levels of Intimacy

Struggling with Intimacy in your marriage? Get your copy of my new Amazon Kindle E-Book: Seven Intimacy Killers: Discover the intimacy killers in your marriage:


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *