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  • Writer's pictureAdaeze Chiwoko

9 Mistakes Married Women Make and How to Avoid Them

Updated: Sep 11, 2023


wife smiling at husband on their wedding day,Happily married couple

You are probably here because you are married, so let me tell you that marriage is a beautiful journey that requires effort and understanding from both partners. However, women often find themselves making mistakes that can hinder the growth and happiness of their relationship. In this blog post, we will discuss 9 common mistakes married women tend to make and provide practical tips on avoiding them. Whether you're a newlywed or have been married for years, these insights can help you foster a stronger connection with your spouse and create a fulfilling marriage.


1. Losing Your Identity: One mistake many married women make is losing their sense of self. It's common to believe that being a good wife means forsaking your uniqueness and conforming to societal expectations. However, it's crucial to remember that your partner fell in love with you for who you are. Embrace your individuality and rediscover the qualities that make you special. By aligning with your true self, you'll not only find personal fulfillment but also strengthen the bond with your spouse.

2. Presumption: Presuming that your partner should know what you want or expect can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. Making up stories in your mind about their intentions or actions can create a rift in your relationship. Instead, practice open and honest communication. Clearly express your needs and desires to your spouse, allowing them the opportunity to understand and fulfil them. By avoiding presumptions, you can foster a more harmonious and stress-free marital environment.

3. Expecting Him to Know What You Need: Similar to presumption, expecting your partner to intuitively understand your needs can lead to disappointment. Each person has their background, upbringing, and way of thinking. It is unfair to assume they can read your mind. Instead, communicate your needs clearly and openly. By expressing what you require, you allow your partner to support you in a way that strengthens your bond and ensures a more fulfilling relationship.

4. Ignoring the Power of Appreciation: Neglecting to express appreciation for your partner's efforts can breed resentment and discontentment. Recognize and acknowledge their contributions, no matter how small they may seem. Expressing gratitude and providing positive affirmation can make your spouse feel valued and loved. Consider their love language and make a conscious effort to show your appreciation in a way that resonates with them. By nurturing a culture of appreciation, you create an environment of love and support within your marriage.

5. Neglecting Self-Care: One of the most crucial mistakes married women make is neglecting their self-care. It's essential to prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. By taking care of yourself, you become a happier and more fulfilled person, which positively impacts your marriage. Make time for activities that bring you joy and invest in self-improvement. Remember that self-care is not selfish; it is a necessary component of a healthy and thriving relationship.

6. Not Understanding The Male Ego This one is a game-changer. One significant misstep that can occur in relationships is the failure to comprehend the nuances of the male ego. While egos exist in both genders, it's essential to acknowledge that men and women might react differently to certain situations. Avoid belittling your partner's feelings or undermining their sense of self. Instead, foster open communication that encourages both partners to express themselves freely without fear of judgment. Understanding and respecting each other's egos can lead to a healthier and more harmonious relationship.

7. Downplaying The Importance Of Physical Intimacy Physical intimacy plays a vital role in relationships, often serving as a way to connect on a deeper level. Downplaying its significance can lead to feelings of neglect and detachment. Acknowledge the importance of physical closeness and work together to maintain a healthy balance that fulfils both partners' needs. Whether it's through intimate conversations, cuddling, or more, prioritizing physical intimacy can rekindle the spark in your relationship.

8. Trying to Do It All By Yourself Independence is commendable, but trying to shoulder all the burdens of a relationship single-handedly can be detrimental. A healthy partnership relies on cooperation and mutual support. Don't hesitate to ask for help or share responsibilities with your partner. Recognize that seeking assistance doesn't signify weakness; it showcases your willingness to work as a team, ultimately strengthening your bond.


Sad woman sitting on a chair in a white wall background thinking

9. Being a Spiritual Judge Passion for spirituality can be a beautiful aspect of a person's life, but it can turn sour when one partner becomes a spiritual judge. Passing judgments based on spiritual beliefs can create unnecessary tensions and divides. Instead, focus on understanding and respecting each other's spiritual paths. Engage in open conversations that allow both partners to share their beliefs without imposing judgments. Embrace the opportunity to learn from each other's perspectives and grow together spiritually. Don’t put your idea of a perfect spiritual priest on your hubby. This will rather make him hide his journey from you, learn to acknowledge that your spiritual walk is different.

Conclusion: Marriage requires continuous effort and growth from both partners. By avoiding these common mistakes, married women can create a stronger foundation for their relationships. Embrace your unique identity, communicate openly, express appreciation, and prioritize self-care. Remember, a fulfilling marriage is built on understanding, love, and mutual respect. By making conscious choices and avoiding these mistakes, you can cultivate a lasting and blissful union with your spouse. Also, I would love for you to watch this video on how to keep that spark alive in your marriage. Those butterflies you felt when you first started - you can keep them alive. Click on this video for a better understanding. Always remember you can have that marriage that you desire, it's Adaeze Chiwoko your Marriage and relationship Coach signing out.




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