Know and Use Your Spouse’s love language
Not only is it important for you to know your love language, but also your spouse’s love language. In my marriage, my top two love languages are Words of affirmation and Physical Touch but for my husband, they are Gifts and Acts of service. However, what we were doing wrong was loving each other the way we wanted to be loved. This led to a lot of dissatisfaction, feeling underappreciated, feeling unloved etc. It was not until we sat down and realised, we receive love differently, that we started to step out of our comfort zones, love each other accordingly, and sure enough within a few weeks, we started to see the transformation in our marriage.
Listen to Understand
When having a conversation with your spouse, learn to listen to understand. This is a court of law where we are trying to win an argument or have the best rebuttal. But rather, a conversation that will bring resolution and in turn – happiness for both of you in the relationship. So rather than listening to respond, listen to understand each other’s point of view and watch how that will quickly disperse the tension in the room.
Choose Love and Acceptance
Until you realise that it is not your responsibility to fix your spouse, you will not be content in your marriage. Love means accepting your spouse and loving them right where they are. You must ask yourself ‘if he/she never made another change, would I still love them?’ Not only is it impossible but it is also not your responsibility to change your them. So, take the pressure off, hold each other’s hand and relax into your marriage.
Happy Marriages are Created
There is no such thing as luck in marriage. If you want a successful marriage, you must create it. A happy marriage takes two committed people taking responsibility for their part and their role towards the success of this union. I am sorry to break it to you, but love is not enough.
The Little Things
Many couples that I see week in, week out, who have no hope of restoration, do not realise that all they need to do is start acting like they love each other. Everything that comes naturally with loving someone – like flirting, date nights, stolen kisses, holding hands, all those little things are the things that will bring back the spark in your relationship. Do not let the monotony of life zap the beauty of spending the rest of your life with the one you love.
Want to radically transform your relationship and create the marriage you have always desired? Book a FREE Breakthrough Call with me.